Needy
Ever get the feeling that you need way too much attention? That maybe you are always getting into more group activities and forums because you seek approval? I have a mild addiction to signing up for accounts all over the Internet. They are usually socializing sites. I am at the point right now that I think that everything I do is to seek attention. Why do I have 7 blogs? Why did I have 12? What do I gain from having so many people as friends all over the Internet? Why do I seek out these friends? I am forever sharing links to things I post on my blogs with people. I constantly make sure people know that I am in existence. Why do I feel like I am fighting for 
status? I am so tired of myself right now. I am at the point where I would stop blogging and shut down the whole production because I am better off not making people feel obligated to care about me. I think that I might just disappear for a while. I know that blogging has become my livelihood…it has become my life, my paying job in some instances. I have felt more times in my life than not that I should just disappear as if dead. I tend to feel that if I could just disappear people would forget about me and go on with their happy lives. Unfortunately, that’s not true as I have married a man and had a child. I am part of them. I was born of my mother and have siblings. I am part of them. I have touched lives, saved lives, helped people, changed people through the grace and power of God that He has wielded through me… I am part of them.
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7 Responses to “Needy”
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HA!–Maybe I just need to ingest some caffeine!
You can’t disappear now, we’ll come hunt you down
Sometimes we just want to be heard and acknowledged…to regain a piece of identity that we feel was lost being a mother and wife.
maybe it’s needing attention, maybe it’s a way to feel like you’re still connecting with people.
whatever it is, it has to feel good to you. when it stops feeling good, you can walk away from it for a while and do something else that feels better for you. then, when and if you’re ready, come back to blogging again.
i understand how feelings of obligation can be where blogging is concerned. this too, will pass
jane
I sympathize with your feeling there, and because I understand how you feel I’d have to call up Cass and come hunting for you
(I need to click in from my reader more often, I like your theme here!)
I see a lot of myself in your post. Life has been a series of obsessions, and the internet and writing obsession I have currently is MUCH safer than most of my previous obsessions.
Suni, I am manic depressive myself, so I really can relate to a lot of what you say here. When I am in a manic phase I think I can conquer the world, then a week later I feel like i want to curl up in a ball and die. I am going to start reading your blog. I think it will help me. I am glad to learn about the fish oil. I hate taking meds, they make me feel like a robot.
Not many people in my offline life know about my problem except my family. This illness is hereditary, at least it is for me. So those who aren’t kin to me love to call me crazy–they mean it in a good way, because when I am out and about I am the life of the party, well, because I require tons of attention to make me remember that I exist.
Anyway, I am rambling. I am going to feature your blog in my blog hop tomorrow. And yeah, what Cass said, don’t you go ANYWHERE!
Denise
I can really relate to all of what was said. I go online and I feel like i need to be loved and wanted by everyone. I am married very happily, with a husband that trusts me so much, as I trust him , completely. I go online and flirt like crazy. I get into innaproriate conversations with all kinds of men because it makes me feel good about myself. It makes me feel wanted and sexy and appreciated. It all just blew up in my face tonight. I admit it all to my husband because he already suspected most of it. Now, who knows where my marriage will go. He’s downstairs wanting to be away from me and I am just on here looking for an answer. So, ya, when I read what u wrote, wow, it’s not quite the same but I can relate to what u r saying about feeling needy and looking for attention and being known.
Amanda