about
Updated: I am a 28 year old that has been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I am currently undergoing talk therapy with a reputable counselor.
Updated: I am a 27 year old who has been tentatively diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. My symptoms match exactly, so there really is no reason not to believe that the tentative diagnosis will become the final diagnosis.
At nearly 27, I am as of yet undiagnosed with bipolar disorder. I suspect that I am bipolar II. I looked for the diagnosis to match my symptoms instead of making up symptoms to put me in that category.
I also had a long fight with schizophrenia from 8 to 21 years of age, but never told anyone about it until recently. You can read on the blog how I figured out what was what.
I was diagnosed with major/deep depression when I was ten and did have therapy thereafter. Doc said I was cured and let me go on my merry way. Little did he know that I was just on a manic upswing. I only recently *in the last 2 years* took a look back to figure out where it all began. I know how, just not when.
I was abused as a child and teen…verbally, physically, emotionally, sexually… by various people in my life. I am trying to write a book about it but it’s danged hard.
This is the blog that I use to chronicle most of what I go through now and what I am doing about it. I also use it as a platform to talk to people about other health issues including depression.
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You know, I totally understand you when you say you find it hard to write about your life. Being bipolar has added colors to my life, but most of my memoreis are of regret. I have been struggling with this for the past 15 years. 15 years ago they didn’t have the kinds of medications that they have today. Most of my non-compliance to meds is a result of how the medication made me feel. To find the med for you is trial and error. It was only last year that I not only found the med “cocktail” that was right for me, but I finally decided to accept that I did have an illness and I needed to get a handle on it. Now things are kind of working themselves out. However I do have moments when I cry profusely because of how much I have been through. Now that I “get it”, moving on to better things is scary because I’m so used to the merry -go-round of chaos, drama, and hospitalization. I wish you good luck on your journey towards wellness. Once you start educating yourself and accept your shortcomings, it will all come together for the better.