Crying because it’s more than myself
My friend and I have been chatting more and more about what seems to be wrong with me. I feel less bipolar and more psychotic seemingly every day. I can’t seem to stop cycling back and forth between okay and not okay. What does this say to me? Cyclothymia with a hint of borderline personality disorder? I have resolved that I have to go to a pro and seek the answer to my problem. I have to. There is no getting around it. My irrational fear of being thrown in an asylum is going to have to go to the back of my mind for a while. How and when, I don’t know.
I know that I read all there was with the BPD and I was finally totally honest with myself. Finally totally and truly base honest… and I can see how I have tried to stuff myself into a box of what I knew was true without considering everything at once. If indeed I do have BPD, it’s about time I found out.
I’m tired of living without knowing what to do. I don’t want to live like this anymore.
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2 Responses to “Crying because it’s more than myself”
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The best thing I ever did for myself, and my family, was to get a concrete diagnosis. It was the first step in allowing myself to accept treatment, and make everyone’s life easier.
Best of luck in your journey.
Yay!!
Taking care of yourself is awesome. Why fight the battle on your own if you don’t have to?