Sometimes I Act Crazy: Ch 1-3
I got the book yesterday in the mail and am now just about ready to start Chapter 4. I must say, the names in the examples given in the book could be replaced with mine and my husband’s name. The conversations between spouses are so nearly exactly identical to the ones that we have here.
I am guilty of asking my husband ambiguous questions with no real right answer. I am also guilty of obsessive behaviors due to fear of abandonment.
Of the 9 criteria for BPD, you only have to fit 5 to be diagnosed with the disorder. I fit all 9 according to the professional test I took on Revolution Health. The book looks a lot like the one that I am writing about my own life. It’s as if someone read my bio and expanded the text. It’s so hard for me to get through the book. I had to put it down a few times last night, I was so overwhelmed by the relation between the book and my life.
I am fearful of something else now, though. I am scared that I will be cured eventually and by then no one will like the real me. Irrational? Maybe, but that’s the new fear that lies within my belly.
Comments
3 Responses to “Sometimes I Act Crazy: Ch 1-3”
-
BPS Originals
Tools
-
Warning!
Also protected by Numly, RSS copy, and Fingerprint
-
Meta
Powered by FireStats
Hi. I am commenting on each Postie Blog that is listed on the Linky List. I have a sidebar widget that many people have decided to put on their blogs. In return I link to your blog under my Photo-A-Day Hosts Blog Roll.
What is the widget. Well, it is a daily photo from my Photo-A-Day project. I have been taking and posting photos to my blog for 2+ years straight. I just started year 3. I’d like to get more people viewing the images and commenting on them so if I can get many Photo-A-Day hosts then I hope I can get people viewing my photos and leaving comments.
You can add Photo-A-Day to your blog and contact me letting me know the widget it up and I will add you to my PAD Host link list.
Here is the link to the Photo-A-Day instructions and code. http://www.benspark.com/photo-a-day/
How about an on-topic comment?
I can so relate to all of those unhealthy behaviors, and must admit I still often engage in them. Ugh.
The book sounds very interesting, but, like you said, I think it would be very hard to read.
And that totally makes sense about being ‘afraid to get well’ - totally makes sense! It must be irrational, though, right? Maybe it’s really more about being afraid that ‘we’ won’t like ourselves, as opposed to ‘them’ not liking us. Hmm…
It’s a tricky road, this getting healthy business, that’s for sure!
{{{{Suni}}}}
The real you….that’s what people look to see. We just don’t understand that. We are so busy putting out our walls and boundaries to protect ourselves, and we don’t realize how desperately people want the real you/me/whoever to come forward.
Sometimes the hardest books to read, are the ones that help us the most. When we see ourselves, we can’t deny it.