Discontent
I am rather discontent with myself right now. I have another month or more to have an appointment with the psych but I do have their emergency number.
But what am I discontent with?
My sense of accomplishment. I have been working my arse off trying to make myself into a brand. I am also trying to become a better writer. How do you do that? I read some blog posts and cry bitter tears. They are so well written and I feel like I am bumbling along in the dark writing at a 4th grade level.
How can I even consider writing my autobiography? I feel like people will read it because they are my friends, not because it is well written or easy to follow. Sure, the events will shock and amaze but will the writing be clear and compelling? Will the words actually capture you?
What about my blog posts? Do they even matter? Sometimes I feel like all I write is dribble. I haven’t a clue why anyone would even care to read the numerous posts that I throw out there just about every single day.
I am not posting this to get sympathy comments. I am posting this because this is what I feel like today. I just got finished watching some things on television and reading some things online that have taken me back into discontent…made me realize how far behind I really am at 27 years old. I am always playing catch up. You can’t catch up to the top, though. That’s where I want to be.
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3 Responses to “Discontent”
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Suni, I am sorry that your soul aches today. You are a beautiful woman with a family, respected by your fellow bloggers.
My suggestions (you knew that was coming) is that you write what is worrying you. There are so many bloggers that blog about their mental illness. It is therapeutic and helps keep everything in perspective. If you do not want to use one of your current blogs, get a blogspot one.
One of my favorite bloggers, is cat. She has a blog called “Blogging with Multiple Personalities.”
http://www.aspenleafhosting.com/cat/
You might want to visit and read. Perhaps your discontent is just a stirring in your creative self. Or, it could be gas. ;- et
Posts like this are why I awarded you the Thinking Blogger Award today.
http://whateverifeellike.com/2007/05/02/thinking-blogger-award/
[...] to find out that my posts inspire others and make them think. The post she chose is the one I call Discontent. It really means a lot. Every time someone leaves a comment here, it does something special to my [...]