Why even leave?
I have been trying to get out of this house for the past 5 days… just to go out somewhere and have fun. For 4 of those days my plans have been thwarted by other people… Tonight I screwed myself out of a good time. I decided to wait around…for other people. I could have left at ten but I am still sitting here an hour and a half later. My husband said something interesting last night:
What’s the point in going out to spend money at a bar for drinks? You can drink at home for much cheaper. What’s the point in dancing?
I have to say that those things sunk into my brain today as I got myself all dolled up to go out. After my sister canceled on me, I had no desire to go out alone and chill tonight. That hadn’t been my original intention. I hate going to places late at night alone. I feel vulnerable to attack. I have a deep seated fear that someone will rape me…again.
So here I sit, at the computer, all gussied up and ready to go… for no reason at all. I think I will just go change into my pajamas, let the dog out of his jail ..erm .. kennel and go to bed.
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