BPD and my thoughts
Everyone Needs Therapy has an interesting post about borderline, the etymology and history of the diagnosis from the beginning of the DSM till now. Therapydoc also goes into some depth about the diagnosis as it is.
I have to say some things about it. Therapydoc says it’s painful for therapists to treat patients with borderline. That kind of makes me feel bad. I have enough guilt about being the way that I am without having to worry that my therapist thinks that I am a pain in the a$$.
I have guilt about treating my husband roughly when he doesn’t deserve it, because I can’t control every outburst. I have issue because I talk to my son harshly or avoid contact with him because I can’t control how much I feel like NOT being near him or anyone for that matter. I have issue because I can’t stop being angry. I can’t stop feeling depressed. I can’t stop making my mind whirl, my mood swing, my inspiration to do things change.
So being a burden to my therapist is not my idea of fun. It is hard enough for me to tell her the truth .. the truth = telling everything, no hold barred. In that, I could be helping myself, but am I hurting my therapist?
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3 Responses to “BPD and my thoughts”
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Well, it seems pretty clear that as long as you choose to believe you have NO control over your behavior you’re going to have very little success in changing it. That tends to be a very nice lead-in to guilt, which is simply an emotion that lets us prepare ourselves to do the same thing again. Good luck with your work on this. Seriously, I know it’s tough, and I also know you can successfully challenge some of these beliefs you choose.
Hold your horses!
It’s not ALWAYS painful! A therapydoc feels your pain. Doesn’t matter if it’s a toothache. That’s the job, we’re supposed to be empathic (altho they say men only understand feelings, women really feel them, GENERALLY).
So don’t worry about it. We get paid, uh, sometimes, and frankly, you and most people are generally delightful. It’s a good job, and like all jobs, needs balance, humor, and patience.
Your job as a patient is to let it out, good, bad, ugly. Get it off your chest, leave it in someone else’s office, and be a nice person to everyone else around you whenever possible. I’m sure you are.
Big difference between Bipolar and Borderline. Organic vs. Non-organic. Too often people whether they realize it or not use a labeled illness as a rationalization to do or avoid something. I think many of these Axis II labels have this detrimental effect. In my experience with borderlines, I’ve noticed the predominate theme time and again is the person’s complete inward focus. Accurate and inaccurate internal assessments become magnified and the person becomes consumed with their perceptions of themselves and how they can and cannot relate to the world. My advice? Visit a burn ward. Visit a nursing home. Spend time at a VA hospital. Go to an animal shelter and show compassion to some unwanted animals. Do something that will improve the lives of others whereby you will begin to feel better about yourself.