Losing my safe places

3 Responses to “Losing my safe places”

1. Gern on January 30th, 2008 2:37 pm

   Well I hope not. I enjoy reading your posts.

2. heather on February 3rd, 2008 7:21 pm

   hello
   i want you to know that you are not alone,i tend to isolate from everyone in these very rough times.sometimes i look at isolating is the best way for me to go,because i cannot talk to my family at all.and the only friends i have are those who accept me with
   the mental illness i have. and yes that safe place can be lost especially if people violate that safe place of yours.i just hope that you can see that sometimes isolating or even in safe place may not be a good choice sometimes.like i know for me if i would isolate now it would not be safe for me.or for you at certain points

3. juniper on March 12th, 2008 12:46 pm

   Gern gave a remark on another page (”BPD and my thoughts”) regarding the difference between axis I and II , which drove home to me to what an extent even well meaning comments can be enough to drive anyone with BPD into hiding.
   Too many people seem to think that Borderline Personality Disorder can just be thought away by a bit more effort at recognizing someone else’s pain, by just taking a look around outside of yourself. I wish people would just study up a bit more before throwing out these kind of comments carelessly - even the ultra conservative NAMI has now declared BPD a serious mental illness, and more and more studies are finding that there are very clear brain abnormalities linked to the disorder, which render null and void a person’s capacity to cultivate a certain point of view for the symptoms to just disappear.

   Plus from what I’ve seen I’m totally convinced: BPD or BD - borderline or bipolar - both have mixed depressive states in common - and there is no reason to treat an irritable hostile depression in one dx any different from the other - this depression can and should be treated with anticonvulsants (such as valproic acid i.e. Depakote - and others ) and/or other meds. Both disorders often have serious sleep abnormalities (all of this can be easily referenced in places like Medscape). Meds for insomnia, such as trimipramine or/and zolpidem can do wonders for both disorders. And by the way, not all “Bipolars” respond to the drugs we have to treat them, but this does not mean they should go to “Axis II”.
   It seems to me that all people suffering from serious mental illnesses, including schizophrenia, delusional disorder, etc. very often give the impression of being disconnected from the world. Someone who is in the throes of a dysphoric mania (bipolar) is not going to seem any more empathic or less self centered than someone with Borderline PD when overwhelmed and totally disorganized by intense emotions assailing him/her that he/she can not control. Insinuating that BPD is little more than a problem of being too self-centered only serves to stigmatize people who are already marginalized and to block any sincere effort at understanding. It is really not helpful to trivialize this disorder by saying - get off of it, take a look around at others, quit whining because it’s only axis II.
   Perhaps the biggest difference between Bipolar and Borderline is that in the latter, one sees much more, and more serious, trauma and severe neglect or abandonment in childhood, and often massive bi-parental failure. This kind of biography leaves one mired in the past - and once you’re in deep, you don’t escape from quicksand unless someone (a caring therapist most likely) can reach out to you with something to hold on to. This is not going to help someone come out of their shell in a world that belittles - and even denies the validity - of their very real struggle with cognitive deficiencies and emotional dysregulation.
   The world could do a lot to help BPD individuals with their anger if it would just refrain from disqualifying and hating them the way it does so often.
   Many health professionals are uniting their voices to get BPD off of Axis II or just do away with the Axis II system altogether. With the DSM V due to come out in 2012, hopefully, Borderline Personality Disorder will have changed it’s name, or at the very least, dropped the word “personality” . We need to recognize that all kinds of people - introverted, extroverted, saints and criminals, within the whole gamut of personality traits, can have this illness.

   One more word about empathy: When one has a very painful toothache - well maybe it’s only a tooth from an outsider’s perspective, but if it’s your toothache… Let’s just say that it’s hard to keep up an interest in someone else’s pain when you’re drowning in your own. Before we accuse others of a lack of empathy, I think we should consider our own level of emotional intelligence. Ditto for our anger.

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