This time it’s more of a fight than it has been…almost ever…I would fathom.
Well because this time I have no physical way out. I don’t cut anymore. I don’t hurt myself when I’m overwhelmed. I don’t drink. I don’t smoke. NOTHING…. So the only thing I have left is prayer and meditation… trusting that God will do something miraculous so that this temporary situation will subside and my life will start again.
Not having a way out and trusting God with everything is no easy task. When I get into the weeds of my mind, I have to continually beat down the thorns as they try to overtake my state of being. I have to continuously remind myself that there is a way bigger purpose for this holding pattern.
One day it will be realized…one day soon… the worse the depression tries to overtake me, the closer I know I am to the breakthrough.