Mentioned in the podcast:
Stuck with the Stigma
Treatment for Borderline
Study about genetics
Natural remedies for bipolar and depression

Music:
Human Nature
You Are Not Alone
Man In The Mirror

RIP Michael Jackson

Are duality and lack of being able to cope in a normal relationship really issues that go hand in hand? What do you think?

For me, the sunshine can only help. I hate the dark dankness that send me into a nearly uncontrollable spiral downward. It is like death every time. That is where my best friend and I differ greatly. I used to love the darkness and the rain, because I felt the most then. Of course, I never realized till recently just how BAD that was for me.

Tags: bipolar, bipolar+vs+borderline, mania

Today I am talking about drugs and alternative therapies for bipolar and borderline. Take a listen and answer back

Sites mentioned:

NIMH on borderline
WebMD on Borderline
AAPEL on Borderline

Music:
Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This) [Explicit] by Marilyn Manson

Music in the Meltdown: Let Go by Frou Frou

Sites that I called out in this Meltdown:

• Cass Knits
• 3 Day Mom
• Simple Kind Of LIfe
• Borderline Symptoms
• Bipolar Disorder Symptoms
• Anger Resources

Blogged with Flock

Tags: bipolar, bpd, blog

She IMMEDIATELY changed my doctor before she called me to find out my complaints. I told her and she commended me for:

a) not calling him names
b) calling her and not taking it out on the doctor (in other words, following the correct chain of command)
c) speaking my concerns clearly and concisely

I told her that I believe most of the people that go in to him probably come out with some diagnosis of bipolar, like there is no other mental illness. I said, I explicitly said I did not want to take drugs, and the only way to get him to stop trying to coerce me in that direction was to ask for the pamphlets about the drugs he wanted to give me.

Oh, here is the stack of pamphlets he gave me, in case you were wondering:

She asked me what else could be done to help me in this, other than her having a chat with the doc. I said nothing, because she had already changed my doc…but I wanted them to have it on record as to what he did. I just don’t want this to happen to other people. I felt like I was arguing with a child when I was in his office. I am glad to have done with it. I get to see my therapist on Friday. I can hardly wait.

ummm… NO!

I know what bipolar is from extensive research and talking to the people who actually have bipolar about their symptoms. You, my sweet and wonderful readers, have shared in my journey to the one thing that encompassed my symptoms. You all know what I’m talking about.

I told him I don’t want to do the drug thing, but he is bound and determined to get me to at least LOOK at the drug option… but for BIPOLAR drugs. I told him I’m doing natural stuff and he is like “but it’s not regulated by the FDA” and I’m thinking, the FDA even puts drugs out and a few months later recalls them because they are unfit to be in our bodies.He (upon my insistence) gave me a stack of pamphlets about a load of different drugs. Then he tells me some of the side effects and what I would have to get done to check on my body systems… you know… to make sure the drug (or drugs) is not killing me. He was saying at least 3 have the potential to give me liver damage.

JESUS LORD GOD… are you flipping serious?

When he was doing that neurotic looking eye blink, he was discounting what I said. He gave me a worksheet I had to fill out to see if I fit the criteria.. For most of them I had to add notes in the margins. Do you think he read them?

Uh… NO. He just classified me without taking it ALL in. Every book on his shelf, every pamphlet for drugs, was for Bipolar.

Then when I questioned him even further into that… about borderline and how come he didn’t come to that conclusion, he ends up saying “their characteristics overlap and sometimes a person can have both”. The more questions I asked about the contrast between BPD and BD, the more flip flopping and squirming he did. He has to understand… I’m not some unlearned chick that will accept without a word or question what you say. You have to PROVE it to me.

He kept trying to make my symptoms bigger than they were. I would say I feel like I can do a lot of things on the upswing…he would keep saying “like you could conquer the world” and I said NO. He didn’t listen. That was all down the criteria line. UGH UGH UGH

Now I am switching my doctors. I just called and they are like “it’s a long drawn out process” >>> WTF??? SO WHAT. I have to change. He just is NOT listening. I have another appt with him in 2 weeks to talk about DRUGS, not about what’s really wrong. I don’t think that appointment will go well once I tell him he is dead wrong and why.