The Shame of Self Mutilation
I always feel terrible after cutting. I always feel like it’s a childish act, a lack of self control. I feel like the whole world is looking down on me wagging their fingers and shaking their heads because I couldn’t keep it together. I feel this shame and guilt that begs the question
WHY do it?
At [...]
Fallen again
Yes I fell again last night. For whatever reason, this past week has been one of the hardest in a long time. I didn’t have anywhere to turn last night. I kept trying to forget about what was plaguing me. I kept trying to pray it away, wish it away…whatever I could do not to [...]
The Meltdown: Borderline Love (antipodcast)
I am still way too emotionally attached to this podcast for it to come out just the way it should. It is the shortest podcast I believe I have ever done. I couldn’t even edit it really, so please forgive me. Every time I hear what I am talking about, I freak out. So I [...]
Close to the cut
Between all the crap that went on the last week and now the 2nd anniversary of my grandmother’s passing…I am so close to cutting or drinking myself into oblivion it’s sad. I just got to talk to my Man a few minutes ago. Him being gone has been taking such a toll. Tomorrow I am [...]
Addictive personalities
While reading information about bipolar and BPD I have found that addictive personalities run sidelong with each of these disorders. I readily admit that I have an addictive personality, as you may have seen in my previous review post. My friend also admits that she, too, has an issue with switching addictions.
Three weeks?!
I just got off the phone with the mental health office. They said it will be a few weeks before they call to SCHEDULE the appointment. That is how long it takes to process the internal referral. I am like “WHAT? I can’t wait that long!” Of course, you would think that since I have [...]
The dark places
Ever felt as though you were losing your mind? Like the only place you can be is the “dark place” where you can’t see your hand in front of your face?
Have you ever gotten to the point where you talk to yourself out loud, answer yourself, and reason with yourself as to what to do [...]





