This is about a life change, a life choice…a real way to stop your world from crumbling down around you. You have to make the decision to internalize what you learn from addiction treatment, and make it your own. You have to truly become one with the program.

There are ways to get through rehab, then there are ways to succeed. Success includes a long term commitment to actually being clean for a lifetime after the program. There are far too many people jumping into drug treatment thinking that it is just a thing to do so they can get through a rough time. It’s not about the long term benefits, only the short term relief. There are a number of people who also think that they are going to be able to get their friends and family off their backs if they “do their time” in a program. It’s the wrong way to think about rehabilitation.

What matters?

YOU matter. Your recovery matters. This is not about you pleasing others. It’s not about getting through the weeks of treatment to return back to your old life. This is about a life change, a life choice…a real way to stop your world from crumbling down around you. You have to make the decision to internalize what you learn from addiction treatment, and make it your own. You have to truly become one with the program. Why waste other people’s time and effort if you are not willing to meet them in the middle, grab that torch, and run with it striving to the finish line?

You can do a drug rehab bid and come out a new person, or come out the same as you went in. The end result is not based on what other people think or do. This is YOUR turning point. This is YOUR final call. Will you be the one who rejoices as they pass milestone after milestone on to recovery or will you be the one in the gutters that others run past on their way to freedom?

Mentioned in the podcast:
Stuck with the Stigma
Treatment for Borderline
Study about genetics
Natural remedies for bipolar and depression

Music:
Human Nature
You Are Not Alone
Man In The Mirror

RIP Michael Jackson

They have a beautiful, well laid out facility in which to recover. You get to live in a luxurious home while you socialize and learn how to really become whole again. The pictures, I’m sure, don’t even do this place justice. I would like to go see their facility in person just so I can report back on it.

The staff really do understand the nature of addiction, how it occurs, and how to handle it afterward. They get that there is no real cure, but that recovery is an every day and sometimes every moment process. Being able to live as normally as possible through the transition is essential to helping one build a life abstinent of drugs and alcohol. Treatment doesn’t cease when you leave, either. They have an aftercare program to make sure one stays clean and sober.

If you live in their area and feel comfortable staying in your state for treatment, make sure to check them out. If you live elsewhere and feel it best to completely leave your environment to pursue wholeness, do the same. Your life is worth it.

//sponsored review//

Today I am talking about drugs and alternative therapies for bipolar and borderline. Take a listen and answer back

Sites mentioned:

NIMH on borderline
WebMD on Borderline
AAPEL on Borderline

Music:
Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This) [Explicit] by Marilyn Manson

She IMMEDIATELY changed my doctor before she called me to find out my complaints. I told her and she commended me for:

a) not calling him names
b) calling her and not taking it out on the doctor (in other words, following the correct chain of command)
c) speaking my concerns clearly and concisely

I told her that I believe most of the people that go in to him probably come out with some diagnosis of bipolar, like there is no other mental illness. I said, I explicitly said I did not want to take drugs, and the only way to get him to stop trying to coerce me in that direction was to ask for the pamphlets about the drugs he wanted to give me.

Oh, here is the stack of pamphlets he gave me, in case you were wondering:

She asked me what else could be done to help me in this, other than her having a chat with the doc. I said nothing, because she had already changed my doc…but I wanted them to have it on record as to what he did. I just don’t want this to happen to other people. I felt like I was arguing with a child when I was in his office. I am glad to have done with it. I get to see my therapist on Friday. I can hardly wait.

ummm… NO!

I know what bipolar is from extensive research and talking to the people who actually have bipolar about their symptoms. You, my sweet and wonderful readers, have shared in my journey to the one thing that encompassed my symptoms. You all know what I’m talking about.

I told him I don’t want to do the drug thing, but he is bound and determined to get me to at least LOOK at the drug option… but for BIPOLAR drugs. I told him I’m doing natural stuff and he is like “but it’s not regulated by the FDA” and I’m thinking, the FDA even puts drugs out and a few months later recalls them because they are unfit to be in our bodies.He (upon my insistence) gave me a stack of pamphlets about a load of different drugs. Then he tells me some of the side effects and what I would have to get done to check on my body systems… you know… to make sure the drug (or drugs) is not killing me. He was saying at least 3 have the potential to give me liver damage.

JESUS LORD GOD… are you flipping serious?

When he was doing that neurotic looking eye blink, he was discounting what I said. He gave me a worksheet I had to fill out to see if I fit the criteria.. For most of them I had to add notes in the margins. Do you think he read them?

Uh… NO. He just classified me without taking it ALL in. Every book on his shelf, every pamphlet for drugs, was for Bipolar.

Then when I questioned him even further into that… about borderline and how come he didn’t come to that conclusion, he ends up saying “their characteristics overlap and sometimes a person can have both”. The more questions I asked about the contrast between BPD and BD, the more flip flopping and squirming he did. He has to understand… I’m not some unlearned chick that will accept without a word or question what you say. You have to PROVE it to me.

He kept trying to make my symptoms bigger than they were. I would say I feel like I can do a lot of things on the upswing…he would keep saying “like you could conquer the world” and I said NO. He didn’t listen. That was all down the criteria line. UGH UGH UGH

Now I am switching my doctors. I just called and they are like “it’s a long drawn out process” >>> WTF??? SO WHAT. I have to change. He just is NOT listening. I have another appt with him in 2 weeks to talk about DRUGS, not about what’s really wrong. I don’t think that appointment will go well once I tell him he is dead wrong and why.

Who would I be when it’s all said and done?

Sure I want things to stop, but there is no selecting WHAT changes. I own at least ten blogs. I do all kinds of arts and crafts. I have a pretty good writing style. People seem to like what I write.

Some of the best writers and artists have undiagnosed or untreated mental issues. Is that sad or what? What if Poe had been given a pill for his depression? What if Virginia Woolf was able to get treatment? What would we be reading and loving now?

I am scared to death to be fully cured because it will take away what I like about myself. I am scared that if I don’t get help I won’t be able to live a functional life with my family. Why should I have to choose?

I know I can’t be the only person who feels this way.

I not surprised, however, that they are trying to come up with some form of bipolar patch which will enable bipolar patients to wear their drug in a patch form, much like the one used for birth control. So far, no dice. I wonder what will happen as a side effect of all these different drugs being tested at skin level. One can only imagine what could occur.

I could barely sleep last night. My stomach is in knots. I was whimpering in my sleep, my husband said so. I hate the idea of having to go to this doc today. I loved my last psych, but that was when I was ten years old. Yes, it’s been that long since I went to a psych. Is that good or bad? Who  knows.

I do know that I am not going to let them take advantage of me. I will not be made a victim or a head case. I will not be belittled. I already know what can happen. My family has a long history of going to psychs. I gotta lay it all down on the line at once and let her know what I think, feel, and what’s up. I have no problem being honest. I hope that she can take it in stride. Just because you have a degree and practice psychiatry doesn’t mean you are up to the task. I have to be on full alert.

So far, the side effects have been documented as being quite embarrassing. I am waiting to see if there is any more news that pops up about it, good or bad, before I make the investment. I must admit, it is tempting to just be part of the “test group” and see if it works for me. Although, I am unsure if I could keep within the fat gram limitations. I might end up with what they are calling an “alli oops” LOL. That would be terrible!

I do believe that exercise helps my mood, though, even if I don’t lose all the weight that I would like to lose. It’s alright, because those endorphins are helping me keep balance. I need more than just the fish oil (which I just found out they make in a higher strength than the one I currently have). I will keep you updated on how the increase in exercise, loss of weight, and fish oil helps me to keep my mood stable.