BULLETPROOFsoul » psychology

Called for an appointment

Bulletproof Soul — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 14:40:40 +0000

but got no call back! UGH! I hate trying to get appointments with these people. They didn’t call me till after my last appointment was missed by an hour to reschedule. Then I finally get days that I am available, call them, get an answering machine, and never a call back. So annoyed! If there were anywhere else I could meet my therapist, I would call her directly and make my appointment at Starbucks or something.

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Missed my appointment

Bulletproof Soul — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 20:49:57 +0000

and I didn’t make another…yet. I will have to soon. I didn’t miss it on purpose. I got my days mixed up again, thought I had to go July 31st when it was actually for the 30th. They didn’t call me till AFTER the appointment,either… which reeks. They know I have date issues and they have to call me at least a day in advance so I remember. They have all new people calling. The one who left me a message was stuttering so badly, like she was way nervous and I was her first call. I guess that’s why I didn’t get one beforehand this time.

Why didn’t I make another? Well time. Time is not on my side this month. I hope to get some time by the last week of this month, though.

Harsh truths after therapy today

Bulletproof Soul — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 18:27:13 +0000

I deserve to be happy.
I am putting boundaries on my child that were imposed on me as a child which will turn him into me.
I have to stop waiting for bad things to happen.
Remember to live for today and the future, not in the past.
Once again…because it warrants repeating: I DESERVE TO BE HAPPY.

Missed my appointment by a day

Bulletproof Soul — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 23:42:16 +0000

Can you believe I actually ended up being a day off my scheduled appointment? I woke up around 7 am with a start, because I had a dream that I woke up at 1pm and totally missed my appointment. It was only a shade from the truth. I got there in plenty of time, if I only had showed up YESTERDAY. *sigh*. The rain forecast has been changed back to no rain, too. Coincidence? Maybe not…

I was given a new appointment for the 20th. I was like OMG I CANT WAIT THAT LONG!!! Thankfully, the receptionist saw how upset I was. I wasn’t ten minutes in my house before I got a phone call rescheduling my appointment for the 14th at 11am. Best believe I won’t be missing this one.

Tags: rain, depression, psychiatrist, therapy, appointment

It Always Rains

Bulletproof Soul — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 05:02:32 +0000

It Always Rains when I am supposed to meet with my therapist.

I told my mother earlier that the weather said it wasn’t going to rain Friday. I told her I didn’t believe it, that by tomorrow it would be raining. Lo and behold, the forecast has changed and it WILL rain tomorrow. Every single time I have met with my therapist, it has rained. The only day it didn’t rain was the day I went to see the ‘chiatrist. I knew at that very moment our meeting would not go well. Rain wasn’t even in the forecast for the forseeable future then. Makes you wonder.

I like rain, though. It always helps me to emote better. I am sure we will get a good session out tomorrow, either way.

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Tags: rain, weather, depression, psychiatrist, therapist

Dawson McAllister show on Q102

Bulletproof Soul — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 13:36:51 +0000

Last night I was driving back home and found Dawson McAllister’s show on Q102. I have never heard this show, but I was touched that this man was giving his time to help teens and young adults up to 25 years of age to find answers to their burning questions. I heard many calls that made me cry. One was about an uncle inappropriately touching a girl from the age of 9 and the girl is now 12. It was so sad to hear her story. I was also happy to find that he has trained staff and online virtual counseling available for those who call in to get more help than just a few lines said on a radio show. I give him his props for doing this. The number to call in is 1 800 394 HOPE.

Therapist Visit Initial Interview

Bulletproof Soul — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 19:44:39 +0000

Well I finally got to the therapist yesterday. Talk about relief. I was so nervous that I barely could breath before I got there. I even tried to stall time so that I wouldn’t get there too early. Kind of didn’t work. My appointment was for 11:30 am and I got there at 11:03 am.

It began to rain like crazy when I finally parked the truck in the tiny U shaped lot. The inner parts of the office are small, too. There was a kid’s corner with toys and tv for children. There was a huge reception desk, and a few chairs for just adults/teens. Around the corner was a vending area with Pepsi, Coke, and snacks. I couldn’t help but to wonder if that was a bad sign.

I got into my appointment right on schedule and the therapist herself came out to get me. I didn’t have to meet a nurse before I met her. Her office, small but cozy with bilingual material, had an overstuffed couch with pillows next to her desk and laptop. She was easy to talk to. I got to ask about the 6 month wait and all that. Apparently, if I had gone to the hospital I would have been in there four months ago. I told her I was scared someone would try to take my son, so I didn’t go. She told me all about how that doesn’t happen unless the child is in danger and whatnot.

I have another appointment in 2 weeks and every two weeks after that. I still have to see the male *blech* psychiatrist once a month… I hope he is like her so I don’t feel uncomfortable. Overall my appointment experience was good, but I will make sure to take something to occupy my mind before I am able to get inside the actual office to chat.

Appointment moved up

Bulletproof Soul — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 13:25:14 +0000

The appointment they rescheduled for this Friday was moved up to today per a call I received last night. So, again, I am getting ready for my appointment. I am waiting to see if they call like an hour ahead and tell me that they are rescheduling again. All this and Mercury is retrograde again. Yeesh! I won’t believe that I am going until I am there, staring Ms Doctor in her face.

Appt rescheduled BY THEM

Bulletproof Soul — Mon, 01 Oct 2007 17:12:00 +0000

Now I have to wait till October 12th. She is supposedly sick. I think she took a mental health day for herself.

This is not good.

Agitated and distraught doesn’t even cover the platitude of my emotional upset right now.

The doctor at 1pm today

Bulletproof Soul — Mon, 01 Oct 2007 13:57:52 +0000

I would be totally lying if I didn’t say that I am nervous. I am nervous… and angry. I will be sure to tell the doc that I don’t appreciate the long wait to be seen. I will probably ask how many patients commit suicide before they are seen by the doctor. She probably won’t tell me, but I will ask anyway. I have to make notes. That’s the only thing that calms my nerves in a situation such as this.

I could barely sleep last night. My stomach is in knots. I was whimpering in my sleep, my husband said so. I hate the idea of having to go to this doc today. I loved my last psych, but that was when I was ten years old. Yes, it’s been that long since I went to a psych. Is that good or bad? Who knows.

I do know that I am not going to let them take advantage of me. I will not be made a victim or a head case. I will not be belittled. I already know what can happen. My family has a long history of going to psychs. I gotta lay it all down on the line at once and let her know what I think, feel, and what’s up. I have no problem being honest. I hope that she can take it in stride. Just because you have a degree and practice psychiatry doesn’t mean you are up to the task. I have to be on full alert.