BULLETPROOFsoul

Real Love or just Borderline Shenanigans

Bulletproof Soul — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 18:10:56 +0000

I read an article today that really shook me to my core. I get the emailed key word updates every day for “bipolar personality disorder”. Now, today I got this interesting link to an article about Borderlines and loving others.

Okay, we have issues. Okay, we don’t love in a “healthy” way because we are mentally unhealthy. I get that…but don’t go and say that we don’t love at all! Even the corroborating testimony on the sidebar reiterates that BPDs do not love the people they are with.

Now, being that I enjoy open discussions about topics, I joined their forum and introduced myself. I said exactly what and who I am, and why I was there. I also opened a discussion about the article, which has been having some interesting dialogue.

My thing is this: the article implies that we do not love since our illness is making us need that person, not love them. Erm… no. Am I the only one here that sees what I see?

I am not asking for people to go start a flame war with them. Let them be!

I want to know why this article is slanted in such a way that will make people get divorces and run for the hills. I want to know why this article makes it seem as though all borderlines should be treated as lepers and put on an island somewhere to drive each other mad.

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Harsh truths after therapy today

Bulletproof Soul — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 18:27:13 +0000

I deserve to be happy.
I am putting boundaries on my child that were imposed on me as a child which will turn him into me.
I have to stop waiting for bad things to happen.
Remember to live for today and the future, not in the past.
Once again…because it warrants repeating: I DESERVE TO BE HAPPY.

The Meltdown: I suck at life

Bulletproof Soul — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 01:23:00 +0000

Okay so you would have had a podcast today, but I forgot where I put my mp3 player. *smacks head* It is the only way I have of doing a podcast that sounds decent enough to post here. I do still have a Gabcast account, so I will not hold you from hearing the loveliness of Shrek in the background as I try to lay my heart out there for you all to hear:

Gabcast! Just a little of it all #11 - The Meltdown: I suck at life

Just a look into my every day, wish it were perfect life.

The Meltdown: The Do Nothing Attitude

Bulletproof Soul — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 17:31:08 +0000

This week I talk about that “do nothing” attitude that can stop you in your tracks. Take a listen!

Music: No Rain (24-Bit Digitally Remastered 01) by Blind Melon

Apologies

Bulletproof Soul — Sun, 25 May 2008 20:04:00 +0000

Sorry if you tried to get to my site in the last few days and you were unable to do so. There were some database issues, but they are all cleared up now.

I also apologize for the lack of posts and my podcast not being done this week. It’s been a rough week for me dealing with plain “I don’t wanna” blues. Everything has been a struggle for me to complete, or even get started on, this past week. I realized that I hadn’t been taking my supplements every day like I had been, and maybe that’s the problem. I am trying to remember to take them again regularly, so this won’t happen any longer.

Thanks for being such great friends to me on my journey through myself. You all deserve golden stars in Heaven.

The Meltdown: Happy Mental Health

Bulletproof Soul — Mon, 05 May 2008 20:05:28 +0000

Continuing the celebration of Mental Health & Borderline Personality Month.

Music: Soul To Squeeze (Album Version) by The Red Hot Chili Peppers

Special thanks to:
Reader:
BPD in OKC
Reviewers:
Lisa
Select Visions
Design 85

Happy Mental Health Month

Bulletproof Soul — Thu, 01 May 2008 13:43:45 +0000

May is Mental Health Month. Get involved in getting yourself right, and helping others in your circle get the help and support they deserve.

Get Connected with Mental Health America
Children need help, too! Pediatric care is available.
Mental Health Tips from Spina Bifida Association
Good Mental Health from Federal Occupational Health
Mental Health Advocacy has a Calendar of Events

Tags: may+is+mental+health+month

Call me the Rubber Band Man

Bulletproof Soul — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 00:55:59 +0000

Upon a great suggestion, I now have to keep rubber bands around my house. Why? Well if I feel like cutting myself, it’s a good way to stop. Snap a rubber band, help keep the pain at bay. It’s not really often, but it is helping when those times do arise.

Tags: rubber+band, cutting

The Meltdown: What are you worth?

Bulletproof Soul — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 12:00:25 +0000

Facing yourself. Do you have self love? How about self worth? How do you find these things for yourself, without basing them on another person’s perception of you? Take a listen, see how I am dealing with this issue myself.

Music:

Want to give up on therapy

Bulletproof Soul — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 03:45:30 +0000

It’s not a reflection on my therapist at all. I just don’t want to go anymore. It’s helping me, yes. It hurts like crazy…I am tired of hurting, even if it’s to get better. I am dreading my appointment tomorrow. DREADING it. The last thing that she said that I have echoing in my head: We have a lot of work to do.

Now, work doesn’t scare me. It’s the fact that my present day issues have nothing to do with most of what she thinks we have to work on. Of course, if I try to explain that to her, it seems like I am trying to squirm out of fixing things.

I am honestly at the point where I would rather go inpatient for a week and deal on my own terms, than to have to get my soul ripped out, put back in, sewn up, and sent back to my house to deal. How can I ever make real progress if I have to live in my present situation every day, hardly a break? Then if I am alone here, I go a little off the side of bonkers and can’t stop my ridiculously evil thoughts from flowing.

I was alone all weekend till tonight, pretty much. It was so hard to fend off the evil thoughts. I heard all kinds of things popping through my brain. I hated the silence and distance. It was just one of those weekends where being alone was not a relished feeling. I needed to be around people. I just had no means to do so.

Thankfully, the weekend is over. I made it… but now I have to face my therapist tomorrow when all I want to do is run.